Weird-Awesome

Perhaps I am not doing myself any huge favors by admitting the following:

I just serenaded my cat with a charming rendition of Don McLean's "And I Love You So" while washing the dishes. I thought it was charming. The cat is still on the fence about it. The lesson here requires a little context...

About halfway through, I had the self-conscious "oh god, I'm THAT cat lady" moment. I paused for a second while the song kept going on my iPod, and I realized that not only was I that cat lady, but OF COURSE I was that cat lady.

For those of you who haven't known me long enough to remember my childhood (life-long?) cat addiction, let me fill you in.

In my early elementary school years, I was convinced I was half-cat. I've explained this before as being similar to ethnic heritage. Some people in my grade were half-Polish. I was half-cat. It makes total sense. Made total sense...

I had a whole backstory worked up in my mind. I'll spare you the fine details that I crafted over time and give you the snapshot. I was born a cat. I lived in a forest. One day a magical fairy came down and turned me into a person, and sent me to live with my current parents.

Looking back, this seems like a hybrid between Little Bunny Foo-Foo and all that Stork business they try to tell you about.

At any rate. There I was, a half cat. I had cat instincts. I communed with the cats. I loved everything that was shaped like a cat, had a cat on it, had a cat in it, or generally related to cats! My Mom has an original cast recording of CATS! that she and I would listen to, and dance around the house. My life was cat covered and cat centric. I loved it.

I don't exactly remember how old I was, but there were two defining events in my half-cat journey that ultimately made me lose faith in my belief that I really was part cat. The first was when I told the principal of my elementary school the long version of my "origin story." In front of my entire class. Needless to say my already questionable social status was reduced from "nice, but odd" to "hahahahahawhaaaat?" I remember something about the Principal either talking to my parents or to my teacher, who attempted to straighten me out.

The second was when I tried to eat cat crunchies. Let's just say I wrote that one off, assuming that my tastes had simply changed from cat food to people food in the magical transformation. While it didn't ruin the illusion, the realization that I might be more human than cat was enough to start unraveling the entire myth.

There was no melt down, so crisis of catness. I slowly started to let go. I know it happened gradually because I still find tiny doodles of cats, flying cats, sleeping cats, cats with their tails curled around them, on most of my notebooks from those years in elementary school (I still doodle cats, who am I fooling). Carefully drawn pictures of our family cat, Boo, hung on the fridge. My favorite earrings were cats. They were also the craziest looking earrings ever, but that is unrelated. I didn't just abandon my love as soon as it made me look like a dork. It was a part of who I was then. Moreover, it is a part of who I am now.

So, here's the lesson...taking the long way around.

Everyone is weird, and I am no exception.

We like to pretend we're less-weird by finding the weakness in others, or what makes them more different. I can cite examples of this throughout my whole life simply using stories regarding the webbed toes on my left foot and/or two-different-sized feet and women who feel compelled to call me a "freak" while smiling and laughing.

My head always goes immediately to, "Oh, I'm totally a freak, but not because of that...last night I drank half a bottle of wine, sang to my cat, and danced around in my pajamas and a pair of gold heels."

Every time I have engaged people on the topic of their particular weirdness, I have learned volumes. Things I never would have guessed, stories and moments that make them who they are, and each amazing in their own way. While sometimes it is easy to go in for the kill, to snark, to be snide, I invite you to think about what makes you weird-awesome, and how I bet it is one of your favorite traits. I know it is one of mine.